I can’t believe February is almost over! Next week I’ll be paying rent again. Its funny how arrival of the first is tied to “bills due.” I have a life-long friend who struggled for years with finances. I mean it was baaaaad. I hurt with her through the struggles of not being able to pay rent, having to move several times and hiding the car so it wouldn’t be repossessed. It’s not so much that they (her and her husband) didn’t have the finances to pay rent, and their car note… sometimes they didn’t (#robbing Peter to pay Paul.) And let me say, this is remarkably familiar to my own experience. In fact, almost everyone I know, certainly my siblings and children, have all had at least one car repossessed (well except Bri.)
But my point is, and I told my Naddie, (#bestfriend) you give money too much power. Now we both know that she is capable of managing her budget… but her husband, who I love dearly, had a “Smeagol” (Lord of the Ring) type control over their money…. “My preccccccious.” I mean it was (and still may be) horrifying. But I think he’s gotten better as his faith in God and in his wife has increased. Not that the money was mismanaged… but he had a fetish for DVDs and not sharing the financial information. Oh, and she tried and tried to get him to unclamp but always ended up frustrated and in tears. I get it, I want control of my own money and I don’t want anyone telling me what I should and shouldn’t do with it. BUT, I am single. Becoming one, is the point of marriage. So, what’s yours and what’s mine should be ONE or at least transparency and cooperation should guide negotiations. Did you know FINANCES is one of the top three reasons marriages fail.
I believe the spirit of SMEAGAL is present when you’ve been traumatized by lack and have the fear of being without. It causes a sort of compulsion to control and do whatever “you gotta do” to hang onto what you have. It makes you feel like if you’re too loosey goosey with your money, or if you don’t maintain control all will be lost, and you’ll end up in that world of hurt again. (That’s called an inner vow.) You promise yourself not to repeat the sins of the father.
Scooch up close and listen to me, EVEN IF YOU’VE LIVED IN GENERATIONAL POVERTY, money is not the end all, be all solution for happiness! I know, I know… been there done that, but like anything else the power is yours to change your circumstances. If you’re sick and tired of “being broke,” stop doing what you’ve always done… change it up. Learn about money and fix your attitude about it. And for goodness sakes (!) stop spending your income tax check on STUFF and learn to save your money. Start small. First learn to TELL YOURSELF NO and make a budget. Set reachable (S.M.A.R.T.) goals and stick to ‘em. Once you accomplish money goals, it will get easier AND you will feel good about self. If money “burns a hole in your pocket” don’t carry cash (and leave the debit card at home.) Money is a unit of exchange, it comes, and money goes. Think of it as an energy. If all you do is WORRY about “being broke,” that is what you attract to yourself… brokenness. But if you are thankful for what you have, which is a gift from above, and realize the ability to meet your budget (and pay what you can) is blessing… it will come more readily. Why… shifting your praise to The Source, and off the OLE MIGHTY DOLLAR opens doors for more... more provision, more gifts, more opportunities. Its ok to love money, just don’t serve it (like a god)… it should serve you. And if you don’t know how that could work… read a book, access YouTube, a blog or Podcast.
So, what does a new season have to do with money. The Christmas/New Years season is just over… winter is on its way out. In fact, it’s raining now, even as we connect. You know what rain does, it washes away the muck and dross. It satisfies the thirsty ground and waters planted seeds. It brings new life. And do I need to say, it’s a gift from above, especially where there’s been famine and drought. The season is changing… be ready for it. Leave the past and be ready to move forward. Remember doing the same old things and expecting something new to happen is the definition of insanity. You want things to change… you change.
Suggested financial literacy resources:
Websites
MoneyMavericks.com, MyMoney.gov, khanacademy.org, www.daveramsey.com
Podcasts
Stacking Benjamins, The Dave Ramsey Show, His and Her Money, The Fairer Cents, The Truth About Money with Ric Edelman
Favorite Books: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Pounder, and Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kyosaki
Also see my book 4SELF 101 (Chapter 9: Money, Money, Money)