Its hard enough reconciling your own behavior with whatever standard you hold yourSELF to especially if you hold tightly to a moral compass. In my older age, I have relaxed my standards quite a bit, feeling life is short… certainly I have less time ahead then I do behind me. And now more than ever I consider what the generations after me will inherit. Will I leave a legacy of dysfunction and poverty… or courage to face and unpack my baggage so that it will not carry over. I don’t want any skeletons in my closet coming back to haunt or torment my loved ones.
My mother was an alcoholic, it’s tough to say out loud, but it is the truth. She was violent, depressed, and had hardly any financial discipline (or literacy.) She was literally demonically tormented, and she couldn’t hold onto a good romantic relationship if it were in a bucket with 10 handles (even with 10 hands.) But she was unique, amazing, regal, and a very memorable woman. And my Poppa, though he remained married until the day he died, had the spirit of a rolling stone.
And I am sure your family has stufffffff too, all of which affects us in ways that are little known, until intentional digging unearths a dead something that still lives… in you. Speaking of ghosts and zombies… muhahahahahaaaaaaaa… HAPPY HALLOWEEN! But in all seriousness…
One of the longest battles I have faced is in relationships. My parents were divorced when I was 3. Mom was also a product of divorce but both her and her mother married and divorced 3 times. Big Al, Lenora’s only brother had 6, yes sixxx marriages. Do you think it’s all coincidence? Nah, something is definitely hiding there. It may be useful to know that every one of my siblings (including myself) have also been married and divorced. Is it a curse or iniquity? Ever heard of that word iniquity before? It means bowing downward… as in taking the straight spine of a bow (as in bow and arrow) and bending it downward towards the ground continually until the bend remains. In otherwords, bending a straight thing until it is permanently molded into a curve. Something completely taboo if done over and over again can become part of one’s SELF - literally changing the DNA, which can be passed on.
Sounds outrageous I know, but I was just thinking of this celebrity family whose father molested/raped his own sons and how many of the kids turned to drugs and have struggled publicly for decades as a result. Then the oldest son molested his younger siblings, became addicted to heroine… and eventually died of Aids while in prison. Now… I wonder at what point did the father’s wrongdoing towards his own sons, become, excusable (in his own mind) then permissible, and then ok to continue doing… Incest and rape… forcing this struggle onto the gender neutral, innocent child. The bent then is passed on… and will continue flowing through the bloodline, until dealt with. This type of thing is SPIRITUAL. When certain lines are crossed over and over (generational sins) seeds are planted and spiritual doors are opened. When visitors come to temp the carrier (in the next generation) to bring alive again the seed, a decision must be made … will they or won’t they…) and then a generational curse is the infection that comes from the continual sin. THESE ARE SPIRITUAL ISSUES, and they are open doors that connect our ancestors lives to our own. Sometimes the darkness and pain we experience is flowing through the doors of the past into our own lives. These doors MUST BE CLOSED. Now your generational stuff may not be as intense as mentioned above. Maybe yours is explosive anger, mental/physical abuse, narcissism, or even poverty… but whatever it is, it will not just go away with time. They’ll only get stronger and bigger as they roll along.
“Spiritual” can be creepy… especially when you lack spiritual authority. Its like being a pedestrian who walks up to a cop involved in scuffle and demands that they back down and let you handle the situation... the truth is, you’re probably going to get hurt. Get yourself to a counselor, a pastor or priest with experience in deliverance. They’ll get you unlocked and to an EXIT and then close all the doors behind you so that you can move onward and upward. Deliverance doesn’t just free you, it protects your kids from the skeletons you thought you buried. Let me just say this, don’t just go to church, you’ll need to add your own SELF-work with all diligence so that when “the caller” comes knocking, you’ll have the strength needed to say “GO TO HELL!”
And if you need help, as always… I got you CLICK HERE