Online dating drives me NUTS!!! You want to be kinky, debased, or just want to “hook up” you can find practically anything online. But if you’re a nice girl or an average guy, who just wants to be meet someone with whom they are compatible to have fun, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. They say it’s all about the numbers, baby… But it’s like being a used car on a car lot. If you have enough of the features people are looking for it’s a SWIPE RIGHT but if you are too tall, or too fat, or too old, or too grey, not blond enough, you get SWIPED LEFT. If you struggle with low-self-esteem just be ready for rejection, games, ghosting, etc.
So, a huge part of it is “slot-filling.” What I mean by this is when people are just tired of being lonely so they connect with the one who ticks off most items on their “must have” list. And there seems to be a lot of people that “pick this one “for the meantime” just so they can stop feeling lonely and then they drop ‘em and move on when they find something “better,” often times without letting the previous person know. That sucks! What would the dating landscape look like if people took their time and actually considered other folk’s feelings while playing the game. But some people are actually out here seriously looking, searching, and hoping to find something real and lasting.
Another issue is “PREFERENCES” aka The List. I’m hard on people when it comes to putting preferences above character and connection because the truth is…. I get offended when you are looking at my breasts instead of hearing what I have to say. Quality people don’t get play if they have lumpy butts, a mid-section or cellulite. Well and that’s why women are obsesses with Spanx, waist trainers, eyelashes, and weaves. Now in the defense of shallow people everywhere I have to say… I used to be guilty of “sticking to my type. And I had a lonnnnnnnng list if must haves (78 items) and then I GREW UP (took my head out of my … you know what) and realized … this freakin’ person DOES NOT EXIST! If you are a Christian, you have no business at all judging people by their outward appearance…. NONE! Sure, you should have an attraction for your life mate, but if outwardness is more important than inward quality (their spirit, intellect, motivations, calling, etc.) - Your priorities are jacked, and your situation will be too. Another thing if you’re looking for mating but not thinking about investing your life… That’s a real problem. That right there… will lead somewhere you don’t want to go and keep you for longer than you want to be there. Don’t you get tired of unraveling out of bad situations? If you do the same ole things and refuse to change… I don’t want to hear your mouth. And stop praying because God can’t even work with a hard heart (ya saw what happened to Pharaoh.)
So how do you make yourself open to more possibilities?
1. Admit where you are having issues and fix ‘em (stop making excuses.) If you’re scared of connecting… you’re not ready to date
2. Don’t take it all too seriously (you will go through a lot of frogs before reaching a prince.)
3. Spend time with your SELF, and make up you mind what you really want
4. Get an “Accountability Partner” someone who can tell you your Sh%# is stinkin’ if necessary and who will walk with and help keep you straight.
5. Strive to be open and honest with people you meet
6. Come out of the box you’ve created for yourself and push beyond “your preferences.”
7. Don’t jump at it because it glitters; everything that glitters ain’t gold. Make good choices
8. Be in the moment, connect… not everyone you meet is meant to date
9. Strive to know a person BEFORE you have sex with them (unless you want NSA and are honest and upfront about it.)
Have fun with dating. Feeling obsessed, pull back & fix your head before getting back out there.