When I say “CATFISH” what comes to mind? I think of Nev Shulman (and Max) and MTV Docu Series, which, I think established a new definition in dictionaries as: “A fake or stolen online identity created or used for the purposes of beginning a deceptive relationship.”
Basically it’s creating a whole persona, online, to fool people into saying “yes.” Time after time we saw one victim after another needing help to connect with someone real. After “falling in love” online. And sometimes victims were involved for yeeeeears, smh. Until seeking help from counselor and connection maker Nev who would come in and try to order from the mess. Usually it was one self-esteem deficient person perusing to find some unsuspecting desperate person looking for and needing a real and meaningful relationship. This is the picture of the “catfish” and their victim. Whatever reason the catfish gave for doing what they were doing, deceiving others, the real answer always turned out to be brokenness (whether they saw it or not.) Sometimes it took awhile. But the victim was always, always destroyed.
When people create their “Representative” it’s because they don’t love who they are. And because of that basic truth they carry the hurt and anger from a pivotal Rejection/Abandonment situation into every new relationship they get into. What they fail to understand, is that it’s not their looks that runs people away… it’s how they act, process and respond to others out of their unresolved pain. It’s the brokenness that has filled their character with a black hole that sucks and sucks until it’s filled (aka the vacuum need.)
Let me say this as plain as I can… Catfishing is deceptive. Bottom line, you are lying. And the first person you’re lying to is YOURSELF. Respect and honor yourself by discovering the beauty you posses. You are worthy of love and respect, but if you don’t know why… why should anybody else? Love can only come from a healthy heart. And if you just can’t get there get help, uh from a professional, not your bestie. It’s time to stop hiding behind a lie, a mask, a representative because they’re just band-aids. Band aids are meant to be temporary, they are not made to hold up an entire SELF-life. This kind of deception hurts other people, but mainly, it’s hurting you even more.
Listen there’s nothing sexier then knowing who you are and carrying it well. If I am whole and happy on the inside… it doesn’t matter one bit what anyone else thinks. Really it doesn’t matter. This space you become a magnet for all the good, solid, worthwhile things. I don’t care how fine someone is, if they are NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN YOUR LIFE… like/love yourself enough to LET IT GO. This make room for what is supposed to be. When you have to work, and work, and deceive, and manipulate to get and keep a thing, it’s not for you. PERIOD! Life is so hard because most of the time we make it that way.
If you want to be happy and this goes for EVERYBODY, not just for people who catfish, look hard into the mirror and look at your life (on a regular basis) and if you don’t love what you see or how you show up… fix it. But use reality not fantasy to improve your life. Genuine and authentic is always better (and more dependable) than a fake. It is what it is. In fact, if you can’t say and mean “I am who I am, I like me… you don’t have to” then you’ve got lots of SELF work and discovery to do.
And I can help. The first thing to do is pick up your copy of 4SELF 101 (its for the teenager in you.) Lets pull it together, it’s time to “GET YOUR LIFE” and take over the world (in your own way.) There are people out there that can’t wait to know the real you.