Last week I introduced you to the idea of MONKIES, those pesky little creatures that can grow and grow and eventually take over how you respond to situations that resemble past trauma. Today we’re gonna talk about someone we all know but sometimes wish we didn’t. That illusion, fantasy, façade … (my/your) fictional character, the one we want to be wanted… The REPRESENTATIVE!!!! Bladdowwww…
If you have suffered through toxic relationships, have been abandoned or rejected in the past, gave your all to someone who cheated, or here’s a good one… if your standards are suuuuuper high (for whatever the reason) - there’s always going to be something preventing you from fully engaging with people that don’t quite measure up to your “list of wants.” I’m mean… don’t raise your hand if you’re one of those sad sad people who won’t even give an “average” person the time of day. I’m going to say something and I want you to really hear me. Scooch up close and listen…
If you esteem yourSELF highly, you don’t have to give THAT kind of person the time of day. To ESTEEM means: To respect, admire, to appraise as valuable. You wouldn’t give an iphone 12 to a 1st grader would you? Aaand if you would, that’s a whole “nuther” conversation. Wisdom would scream NOOOOOO! Why because they don’t understand the value and importance of such an expensive piece of equipment. They would most likely treat it like a toy, because they don’t know any better. In the same way know your worth. It is you who determines your own value. Showing up as a REPRESENTATIVE is not only INAUTHENTIC, trying so hard to be something you aren’t DISHONORS the unique and special person that you truly are. Must you MANIPULATE people to like you? I AM who I am and thank God, because there is no one like me… and there is no one like you! Wisdom will tell you - Not everyone who comes into your life should remain. Not everyone deserves a place in your inner circle, should get your number, have the privilege to date you, bed you, or monopulize your time. Perhaps this meeting was for a future business endeavor or maybe the universe’s way of bringing a momentary lift with 1 humorous conversation.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying NOT to have high standards, and I am also not say to settle in that you give up your non-negotiables… But what I am saying is don’t let your determine people’s worth. So say you’re the one sitting across from a “REPRESENTATIVE” my advise to you is #1 Consider what you’re bringing to the table (if it’s less than what you’re asking for, uh you’re unbalanced.) And #2 Don’t freaking be shallow, don’t just soak up the outside… dig deeper. Open up, converse be “in the Moment.” Fight beyond placing more value on the outside then you do the inside. And then later when it’s all over connect with your SOURCE and decide if and where this person should be in your life. If your monkies won’t let you do that, I would say you need a complete “SELF” detox. Ya need to transform how you think, feel, and respond in relationships…. Pschhhhe maybe you’re not even ready for a real relationship. Start with being honest with where you are. And then so something different… read a book. I’ve got one for you…
Check out “The Love Lies” by National Best-selling Author Debrena Jackson Gandy. This groundbreaking work will help you get rid of The List and false beliefs about men and relationships that keep us frustrated and feeling dissatisfied. Her 10 Revelations will liberate you and they will help transform your relationship mindset, as well as your whole dating thing, like it did for me.
